Biography

Long form:

Born in 1987, the same year Peter Ward started finding ammonites near the Cretaceous-Tertiary boundary, which caused Peter to start his transition from the theory of gradualism to catastrophic extinction (a fact written not only because Jeff just happened to read it in a book, but also a fact that demonstrates his interest in anthropology and human origins), Jeff van Booven is a graduate of the—possibly, but not likely famous—Department of English at Missouri State University with a B.A. in Creative Writing and a minor in History.  He is currently taking his masters in English literature with an emphasis on critical theory, with interests in Marxism, Post-Colonialism, and Gender Issues and a focus on how culture and religion interact.  He’s published zero novels and had short fiction appear in the now defunct Dark Library and Soul Vomit.  Currently, he does pro-bono work for undead rights and lectures on surviving zombie apocalypses.  He spent a year as a political editor for the Missouri Miner before he decided that he preferred a major where common activities included basic hygiene and a more likely chance of getting laid (read: a loving and caring relationship with the opposite sex).  He’s also worked as an editor for the MSU College of Natural and Applied Science newsletter and did volunteer work as an editor for various online e-zines.  Other menial jobs he’s performed include directing people to the location of the cool whip in the grocery store (it’s under the sign that says toppings in one of the two aisles that actually have freezers; the ready whip is in dairy) and crushing the dreams of small children at a Halloween store.  A lifelong resident of Missouri, Jeff spends a large amount of his communications with the outside world assuring people that things other than college-dropout gasbags and the Schlaflys (the side of the family that doesn’t produce beer) come from the state, like Mark Twain, Langston Hughes, Scott Joplin, William S. Burroughs, Robert A. Heinlein, T.S. Eliot, Edwin Hubble, Brad Pitt, Maya Angelou, and probably a person favorite of many, Betty Grable.  The list is kind of an important issue of state pride for him.  In his spare time he presides as the President of the Unknown Universe and keeps current a number of apocalypse survival plans, including zombies, twenty foot tall red birds, and Jesus—the takeover of the world by our new penguin overlords is unpreventable and he welcomes them with open arms.   He enjoys slightly shorter walks on the beach and cupcakes. The most important fact to know is that the Cubs suck, have sucked, and will suck.   For a more complete biography, you could check the Wikipedia article, if it existed, but it would probably be far too accurate for Jeff’s tastes.

Short Form:

Born in 1987, Jeff van Booven is a graduate of the Department of English at Missouri State University with a B.A. in Creative Writing and a minor in History.  He is currently taking his masters in English literature with an emphasis on critical theory, with interests in Marxism, Post-Colonialism, and Gender Issues and a focus on how culture and religion interact.  He’s published zero novels and had short fiction appear in the now defunct Dark Library and Soul Vomit.  Currently, he does pro-bono work for undead rights and lectures on surviving zombie apocalypses. He spent a year as a political editor for the Missouri Miner.  He’s also worked as an editor for the MSU College of Natural and Applied Science newsletter and did volunteer work as an editor for various online e-zines.  He volunteers his spare time to presiding as president of the Unknown Universe and does side jobs for the future penguin overlords.  Jeff likes slightly shorter walks on the beach and cupcakes.

Shortest Form:

Jeff van Booven is awesome.