There’s even a winner for best speech for tea-bagging.
Fastened upon our ancestors by the despots of faraway lands, the Chains of Tyranny were linked by hereditary bondage, undeserved tribute and indentured servitude. By exhibiting gallant resolve and courage – in some cases against the face of certain death – our Minutemen forefathers gloriously threw off these chains just 233 short years ago.
Much has changed since that time. Yet today, we hear again the rattling and clanking of the Chains of Tyranny. The chains we hear are held not by foreign powers. Dreadfully, it is those among us, many of whom are our elected leaders, who possess the chains and toil endlessly to cast them across our backs. Now heavier and longer, the Chains of Tyranny have been wrought with new links – apathy masked by complacency, socialism fueled by internationalism, cults of undeserved celebrity and a reckless belief in the equality of results.
Oh no, equality, how evil. I’m sure you’d be much happier with white privilege for few. Because this is what it’s really about. Your version of America is white. Rich white people. It’s not about freedom, or a fair chance. It’s not about taking care of your fellow citizens. It’s not about a duty to country or to the world, to your fellow human beings. It’s about yourself. You and you alone, that’s your America. An America of the white man, for the white man, by the white man. Stiring words don’t amend the reality of the America we actually live in.
Moreover, they are now deceptively plated in gold. We have been assured, time and time again, by those who hold the chains that they “know better” and that to embrace their shackles would be “for our own good.”
Except when faced with being ruled by the oppressiveness of a viewpoint put forth by a college dropout of a low brow state university, I can not help but choose somebody who “knows better,” for my OWN good. It’s not a matter of your pretend notion that they know better than you, but a real notion that they do know better than you do and that a majority of our nation realizes this. You come from a party that believes global warming to be a complete myth. A party that caters to the belief that evolution and science are frauds. No, for our own good we choose to elect people who know better than you. A great man once stated, “science, it works, bitches.” There’s a reason we choose science over superstition.
The threatened return of the Chains of Tyranny triggers that transcendent call for us to assemble here today.
Who are we?
We are the Defenders of Liberty!
Greedy white men. Men who believe that they, through their own hard work can excel. Men who don’t understand the oppression of race, sex, and creed that is still felt by many Americans today. Men who have no concept of the multiple voices present in the country today. Men who think that any views contrary to their own are a threat to liberty and freedom. Men who can’t be bothered to adjust their ideology to the empirical evidence brought before them. No, you are not defenders of liberty. You are a small minority who can’t accept that they lost an election.
Our hands reach across generations.
And yet the photos, the videos, the evidence clearly points that you do not.
We do not perceive the value of each other in abstract terms of race, gender, ethnicity or creed.
Yet we see little participation from minorities, differing creeds, or races. No, you do not perceive the value of each other in abstract terms because you do not realize that we are not a homogeneous group. You have no idea that people live in a reality that is much different from your own. You have a simple xenocentric view of America. You don’t perceive because you don’t know that other points of view exist.
We do not see ourselves as rich or poor.
Because, in your homogeneous mixture of middle-class white conservatives there is little need to do so. You are of one class.
We spurn “identity politics” as a lazy and inadequate substitute for a guarded vigilance balanced by independent thoughts.
Yet extol the value of conservative talk radio, Fox News, and let yourself be led into a tirade against Democrats and Obama. Independent thoughts are not what you have. What you have is the same regurgitated opinions in lie of evidence. Where have you proved tyranny? Where have you shown the claims of the multitude of signs? Where are the facts?
For we are all individual citizens of America – black and white, man and woman, Mayflower descendent and newly naturalized – and we must all stand united to protect freedom’s priceless but delicate charge!
And good sir, we are the majority. The ones who aren’t at your protest. All races, creeds, classes, and gender identifications. We are America.
We detest efforts by the holders of the Chains of Tyranny to corrupt the everyday meaning of things and turn us against one another.
Again you claim that you are a victim of tyranny. What tyranny? By who? Corrupt what meanings? Sir, I ask you, as a white privileged male, what do you know about oppression?
Hope is not faith! Change is not reform! Taxation is not charity! Equality is not opportunity! Servitude is not freedom!
And your words are not reality.
To this end, we reject the following confused ideas tinkered in minds that reason abandoned and faith no longer moderates: Inconvenient truths, audacities of hope, carbon footprints, unearned incomes and government-sponsored “recoveries.”
Yes, and now we see your true colors: ideology. It’s not a matter of scientific evidence, empiricism, or a reality of systematic oppression. No, what matters is your ideology. In doing such you must reject reality. You must pretend that there is not a problem, that a majority wishes a direction other than what your ideology provides. These are not the confused ideas you claim them to be. No, the only truth is your slavish devotion to an ideology. Your ignorance is your bond of tyranny.
We believe there is but one market – the free market – that, if allowed to run unfettered in a free society, can provide all men and women the opportunity to use the results of their work to better themselves, their families and their communities.
And reality begs to differ with your belief. The world has already seen the dangers of an unrestrained free market. We’ve seen the ghettos. We’ve seen the exploitation. No sir, your free market cannot and does not provide the opportunity that you seek. It does not allow hard work to better oneself. Your free market makes us slaves to the ruling class.
We know that public bailouts, no matter the intention, foster dependence, which in turn fornicates with servitude and begets slavery. For this reason alone, we would rather walk than drive a car made by any government! We would rather be paupers than be made rich by “public” money! We would rather drop dead than be cared for by Nurse Fed!
While poverty may seem grand to an ideological idealist like yourself who hasn’t suffered the conditions of such poverty, it is not desired by many Americans. We do not wish to simply allow collapse into another depression. Would you truly rather walk? I doubt so. I highly doubt your devotion. No, your ideology doesn’t allow for such posturing. You do not know what you claim. You cannot know what you claim. There simply isn’t the information available to support your claim at this time.
We further reject the guise of “universal health care” and recognize this abhorrent creature for what it is: a brazen attempt to seize illegally our wealth, control how we care for our mortal bodies, limit our access to the best medicines, stifle scientific progress and medical innovation, and transform our doctor’s offices and hospitals into DMV-style waiting rooms.
I further reject your notion of what “health care is.” It is not an abhorrent creature designed to seize wealth you don’t have. It is not designed to control how one cares for our bodies. No, this is simply not true, no matter how much Limbaugh, Beck, and Fox claim it to be so. This is not a method to limit access or to stifle scientific progress and innovation. No, this is simply not the case, nor need it be. Our doctor’s offices and hospitals will not be DMV-style waiting rooms. Independent thought would show you that this is simply not the case throughout the world. Such systems have actually placed those countries with health care available to all in a much greater position than the United States. Your myths are not facts. They are antiquated lies that continue to make our health as a nation much worse than the entire Western World.
The Defenders of Liberty will never stand by and ignore the attempts of others to cast off their own chains of servitude. We will not strike accords or offer bribes to dictators! We would rather cut off our hands before extending them to the harbingers of evil!
Nor will you read and cast off ignorance. Nay, your ideology is an ever unwavering doctrine to which all must subscribe or be cast as servants of an unnamed oppressor. Sir, we are not servants of a master. We are individuals like yourself. Individuals who have experienced the world around us, looked beyond the ideology of yester-year and seen a new world that can be achieved. A world that frees the citizen from the tyranny of oppressive capitalism. A world in which the average citizen gains liberty.
Speaking of evil, we know only those true rights: those that are unalienable and endowed by our Creator. We reject penumbral “rights” as false and dangerous ideas contrived in judicial cauldrons established only to massacre those who permeate the bookends of life.
I reject your notion of unalienable rights endowed by our Creator. While they make for great grandstanding, but never-the-less hundreds of years of discovery has taught us many things. The only rights we have are the rights we grant to ourselves. We can grant ourselves what rights we wish to grant ourselves. That is the right of any society bound by law. We can grant upon ourselves any right. There are no “false” rights. These ideas, they are not dangerous. They are truths. These “false” rights grant greater liberty to the masses. Your only problem is that the wealthy must pay a greater price to be allowed to use the collective resources of the society to increase the private property that society allows them to have. You have no unalienable right to private property. You only have the right granted to you by society to use the collective resources to generate your private property.
And finally, we know that our sovereignty shall forever reside in We the People. For this we reassert that any government that limits the God-given right of her citizens to defend themselves automatically ceases to be a government – for such action shall void the social contract from which it was forged.
Sir, the social contract is the very reason the citizens of this country can and do grant themselves such liberties and rights as the right to health care. If we as a society deem that health care be such a right then we can, will, and should declare it to be so. Ergo, the elected representatives of the people are within their rights of the social contract to expand this contract on the behalf and will of the people. That “we the people” you speak of voted for a direction other than your ideology allows. We the people didn’t vote for free, unrestrained health care. We the people did not vote for the capitalist health insurance system. No sir, we the people do not agree with your notion that the social contract is voided.
We are the True Patriots, left to guard perpetually that shining city upon a hill. We know of her, we dream of her, and yes, throughout history she has had a name: AMERICA! Let us rally around her, for we are the Defenders of Liberty! Let us hoist our flags, wave our banners and bear our arms! Let us be vigilant and fight any attempt to ravage her! For, as the envious eyes of the world are still cast upon us, we vow not to be the last to feel the sweet effervescence of her freedom!
You are not the “true patriots.” You have no right to claim yourself to be any more of a patriot than the man who disagrees with you. You sir, are no more patriot than I. Except in that you sir, actively consider your fellow citizens to be an oppressor. You consider us to be enemies of the state. You consider us dangerous. You consider us to be parasites feasting on your Randian state. Sir, we are no shining beacon. We are no city on a hill. No, we are simply one way of doing things. We are a culture. One culture. One culture that is not in line with your ideology. Sir, there is a whole world out there. America has no need of your defense, for America is not just you. America is the collective. America is all of us. America voted. America did not vote for your ideology.
God bless America!
May empiricism guide us to a more enlightened conclusion. And, what better way to celebrate this grass roots movement than buying some sweet swag from a mainstream conservative website. It’s the best way to celebrate true capitalism, supporting the rich elites who prey off your slavish devotion to their ideology. Though, you might be a bit disturbed at the partisian hackery that you find there.
Tags: Tea Bagging
