Archive for April, 2009

Writing Dump

Wednesday, April 29th, 2009

That damned alarm clock was flying across the room again. Once again reality had taken it upon itself to ruin Visa Chase’s day. He thought it ought to apologize and not for the little things like war, disease, genocide, and famine, but for the big things like rush hour traffic and his coworker’s inability to not driving him to the precipice of armed rage. Visa also thought that the alarm clock industry ought to apologize for making defective alarm clocks that had a nasty habit of taking flight when the alarm went off. At the very least they could make them not break so easily.

Visa lived on the west side of down in an all-together forgettable neighborhood whose bland box shaped ranches had been abandoned in favor of much larger and disagreeable two stories further out in the suburbs. His neighbor Mr. Parker was an elder gentleman of about seventy years. An all together pleasant chap, but Visa suspected he might be suffering from an as of yet named mental condition. Mr. Parker simply didn’t care about kids being on his law. In fact, he hired a young gentleman to mow his lawn once a week. Sometimes the boy, to Visa’s annoyance, got a little ambitious and took it upon himself to mow a little of Visa’s lawn. In reality Visa hated mowing, it’s why he never watered, but it was the principle of the matter. He’d considered a fence once, but reasoned that it would be much too impractical as he didn’t own a weed-eater, which is an all together silly name for something that doesn’t never so much as resembles eating, much less ever get used on weeds.

Obamationary

Wednesday, April 29th, 2009

Listening to crazed pundits talk about Obama in his first hundred days has really made me feel sorry for the English Language.  Apparently his name has turned into a prefix for just about everything.  This is only the first 100 days and we already need a dictionary for the various uses of Obama.   I really feel sorry when they actually have to break down and create a definition for the prefix.   So far we’ve got things like:

Obamania: 1. What the Beatles fans would be if the Beatles were black and the U.S. President. 2. The right wing term for anybody who happens to agree with Obama in some way.

Obamanomics: 1. An economic policy where taxes are cut for most Americans, while only the richest see an increase coupled with massive stimulus spending on infastructure projects. 2. Socialist Dictatorship.

Obamaism: 1. Obama as a political movement onto himself.  2. A new secular, left-wing, religion.

Republican Roundup

Tuesday, April 28th, 2009

Here’s a wonderful article written by a very well-informed gentleman.

On April 15, thousands of citizens assembled across the country to let their voices be heard. This is the right of every American. Their being able to gather should be cause for celebration, not ridicule. We are still free to gather peacefully and express our opinions.

Well, he’s got one thing right. There were only thousands of people.  Hell, even if we grant the quarter million that’s still only .08 percent of the population.   At least he didn’t claim to be part of a majority.  But seriously, people protest taxes and all sorts of other things on April 15th.  If it wasn’t for Fox News nobody would have even given a shit about this pointless right-wing hackery.  Besides, we already learn about the Skokie case in U.S. History classes and quite frankly, that’s a bigger cause for celebrating free speech around.

The first 10 amendments to our Constitution are known as The Bill of Rights. Here is Amendment 1:

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

Gee, I think we know this one.  Just one small problem.  See that first part, you know, where it says “Congress?”  Yeah, that part, I bet you’re not going to go on a tyrant about how Congress was passing laws to screw with your teabagging.

CNN and the networks, especially MSNBC, saw fit to ridicule these people. As usual, they spouted the party line and denounced all unbelievers as ridiculous, racists and hate mongers while throwing in obscene references. But when you think about it, who is spreading hate here?

Turns out I was right.  You know, when your slogan starts out with “tea-bagging” you probably shouldn’t be surprised when people take to ridicule.  Also, I don’t think there was anything about believers mentioned.  Reality isn’t so much a belief as, well, the truth.  Sure, they have their biases, especially MSNBC, but to be fair, have you read the signs at these teabag fests?  Racist, hate mongering, and obscene references would aptly describe a lot of them.  That, and there seemed to continue to be an awful problem with the difference between socialism, communism, fascism, and the poorly designed congressional rush job that has resulted from decades of bad policy on both sides of the aisle.  But massive military spending is still okay, am I right?  There’s also kind of a difference between ridiculing ignorance and stupidity and, well, this.

Only Fox News covered the events, as reporters of the news should when thousands of people are protesting.

By hyping the shit out of them and then personally headlining the events with their big name stars.  Of course, silly me, I thought that reporters were supposed to remain neutral and not personally involve themselves in the protest.  I guess that’s why the other networks don’t count when all they did was send reporters to ask questions.

Their reporters were sent to report what was happening, what the people there were trying to address.

And we’re still not really sure what that was.

For this, Fox is being denounced and accused of being a “facilitator” of a “publicity stunt.”

Well, you know, it kind of was.  Did you watch any of Comrade Beck’s show?

What a disservice the media are doing to our country when they tell only one side: their “politically correct” version.

Or the “news in accordance to Boss Limbaugh” version.  You know, perspective on the bias here.

They are brainwashing their viewers with the propaganda they spew, their half-truths, their portrayal of those with opposing views as being stupid, hateful and even unpatriotic. They erroneously claimed the protesters were disgruntled Republicans; in fact, party politics was not an issue as people of all parties were represented and came together in a common cause.

Okay, so the Ron Paul supporters showed up too.  That doesn’t really make the Obama is a fascist, socialist, Muslim, communist, marxist, dictator signs any less non-partisan.  So no, it wasn’t just disgruntled Republicans, there were also retarded and ignorant Republicans as well.  Besides, wasn’t it Fox that taught us that protesting/disagreeing with the president in a time of war was treason?  Iraq and Afghanistan are still going on, so well, yeah.  Traitors.

The preamble to the Constitution begins with “We the People of the United States . . . ” The Constitution was ordained and established by and for the people. The federal government was set up to serve us, not to make us its servants.

And Lincoln clarified that as “Of the people, for the people, by the people.”  So you know, it’s still our fault for our government.  Plus, given how incompetent, ignorant, and manipulable a large swath of people are it’s no wonder our government reflects that same level of incompetence.

Mr. Bond seems to be under the delusion that our representatives in Washington actually represent us.

Well, you know, a majority of us voted for them.

If only it were so, there would be little or no need for protest. Our letters, calls and e-mail are ignored as Congress passes bill after bill sending us further and further into debt that our grandchildren will be paying interest on and taking us further and further away from what the Constitution declared for us: justice, domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and to our posterity.

Or maybe they’re ignored because a vast majority of us realize that your ideas don’t work.  Just saying, tax cuts for the rich, well, we tried those before.  Also, you know, socialism would do a good job of justice, domestic tranquility, providing for the common defense (which, well, is the most socialist thing this country is running), promoting the general welfare (universal healthcare would sure do that), and securing the blessings of liberty.   Oddly enough, there’s nothing in there that says anything about debt payment plans.  Perhaps we should ask Reagan about that whole debt thing.

“There is none so blind as he who will not see.” It would behoove us all to check out the “facts,” hard as this may be, for ourselves, rather than listen to television anchors passing off their biased remarks as facts. Our republic can only survive when its citizens are informed and involved.

So, we is can stop watching Fox News now please?

Arlen Specter; Senator Badass Mother Fucker

Tuesday, April 28th, 2009

Okay, so really he just looked at the numbers, the fact that he’d lose to a Boss Limbaugh and Comrade Beck approved candidate, and the fact that it’s a much better time to have a D in front of your name than an R. But hey, if you had a brain and you looked at the fact that you had to suck the cock of Limbaugh to be considered a Republican you’d probably jump off the crazy train no matter how bad you’d be injured.

Sure, it really doesn’t change the dynamic of the Senate all that much.  There already is a coalition of moderate Democrats for him to work with.  It’s not like he’s suddenly had a major shift in policy.

There is, however, one really good reason to like this switch.  “Now I can say it: what a bunch of fucking assholes!”  And it only got better from there. “This is something I’ve wanted to say for years: is there a bigger dick on this planet than Mitch McConnell? I know he thinks he’s doing his job, but please, what a fucking turd.” He wasn’t stopping there either. “Eric fucking Cantor? Please. That douche can kiss my goddamn stimulus package.”

Though, I would have to say, I really like Sen. John Cornyn’s take on the matter:

potentially unbridled Democrat super-majority versus the system of checks-and-balances that Americans deserve.

You know, if it’s a choice between a Democrat super-majority and right-wing creationist teabaggers I’m going to have to go with the super-majority.  Sorry, it’s nothing personal, I just have this thing for health care, science, and the ice caps.

Intelligent Sort

Tuesday, April 28th, 2009

P.Z. Myers linked to this interesting sort method. I spent a year as a computer science major and so I got quite an education into various sort algorithms so I found this new method to be very interesting. So far the best average complexity of a sort algorithm is O(n log n) and so this new method is quite an improvement with its complexity of well, O(0).

Algorithm Description

The probability of the original input list being in the exact order it’s in is 1/(n!). There is such a small likelihood of this that it’s clearly absurd to say that this happened by chance, so it must have been consciously put in that order by an intelligent Sorter. Therefore it’s safe to assume that it’s already optimally Sorted in some way that transcends our naïve mortal understanding of “ascending order”. Any attempt to change that order to conform to our own preconceptions would actually make it less sorted.

Analysis

This algorithm is constant in time, and sorts the list in-place, requiring no additional memory at all. In fact, it doesn’t even require any of that suspicious technological computer stuff. Praise the Sorter!

Warning: this site may contain trace amounts of logic, reason, and factual evidence.
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