3rd place goes to Bill Donahue and company for their continued campaign against Fox.

On last night’s episode of the FX network program, “The Shield,” a Catholic priest was portrayed as someone who allowed a gang to deal drugs under his watch, clipping off a share of the profits for himself.

In another scene, an undercover police officer enters the confessional to confront the priest about the drug dealers, saying that the gang has a lien on him: the priest is accused of being a child molester. At this, the priest explodes, stating that “Just because some sick perverts decide to live out their fantasies through the collar doesn’t mean that every priest is a gay pedophile.” The confrontation continues outside the confessional and at this point the priest admits to fathering a child with the gang leader’s sister.

Oh no, because priests have never been a plot device in hundreds of crime shows and stories at all. Sorry, but a priest being used in such a role is nothing new or anything inherently anti-catholic.  Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever read about a non corrupt priest in a noir film or novel ever.  As for the gay priest scandal. It’s part of the culture, people identify with it.

2nd place goes to, the people P.Z. is mocking.  Really, you have to just go there and read it.  I have a funny feeling that you might just laugh as much as I did. You would probably also enjoy the original article as well.  This story would have definitely won if it wasn’t for-

In first place, Pat Robertson for his original work of fiction, “Letter from 2012 in Obama’s America“.

A few words.  From a creative writing stand point this piece of work is a piece of shit.  It’s way too much telling and not enough showing.  Quite frankly he seems too keen on pointing out things that are already known.  Even if this was to be believed as a letter from 2012 to us in the present he really wouldn’t need to tell us a lot of the stuff he does.  We already know the information.  We know the make up of the supreme court.  We know how they traditionally vote.   The more important factor is that this does not seem like a letter at all.  The letter reads like a middle school was given an assignment to somebody to write a letter about the present to somebody in the past.

The letter also shows some of Pat’s glowing errors in actually understanding the facts.

President Obama repeated his declaration that he personally was against same-sex “marriage”, but he told the nation there was nothing he could do. The Supreme Court had ruled, and it was now the law of the land. The president asked the nation to support the decision.

The Supreme Court isn’t final.  All it would take is a constitutional amendment to change the ruling.  Or the court to change.  True, there is nothing Obama could do about changing it as president, but that doesn’t mean that it couldn’t be changed.

(1) Boy Scouts: “The land of the free”? The Boy Scouts no longer exist as an organization. They chose to disband rather than be forced to obey the Supreme Court decision that they would have to hire homosexual scoutmasters and allow them to sleep in tents with young boys. (This was to be expected with a change in the court, since the 2000 decision Boy Scouts of America v. Dale, which affirmed the right of the Boy Scouts as a private organization to dismiss a homosexual scoutmaster, was a 5-4 decision, with Stevens, Ginsburg, Souter and Breyer dissenting even then.)

I really have to wonder where these rulings came from as they not only don’t recognize the Boy Scouts as a private organization that you voluntarily join, but also that it doesn’t follow Boy Scout policy that doesn’t allow Scoutmasters to sleep with the scouts.  It couldn’t even be seen as a discrimination issue because they already don’t let them sleep with the kids for other various legal reasons.

(2) Elementary schools: “The land of the free”? Elementary schools now include compulsory training in varieties of gender identity in Grade 1, including the goodness of homosexuality as one possible personal choice.

Oh shit, they’re teaching tolerance and gender identity. Oh noes. I’m sorry, but gender issues are something our school systems are severally lacking.  Most of the current arguments you hear against feminism and the homosexuals and cross dressers stem from our rigid and unflexing theory on gender roles.

Businesses with government contracts: “The land of the free”? All businesses that have government contracts at the national, state or local level now have to provide documentation of equal benefits for same-sex couples. This was needed to overcome “systemic discrimination” against them and followed on a national level the pattern of policies already in place in San Francisco, Los Angeles and Seattle.

Damn straight. You want government contracts you play by government law.  It already is this way now.  So whoop-de-shit pat.

Public broadcasting: “The land of the free”? The Bible can no longer be freely preached over radio or television stations when the subject matter includes such “offensive” doctrines as criticizing homosexual behavior. The Supreme Court agreed that these could be kept off the air as prohibited “hate speech” that is likely to incite violence and discrimination. These policies followed broadcasting and print restrictions that were in place prior to 2008 in Canada and Sweden.

Argument that doesn’t stand up? Check.  We have a first amendment. There is plenty of offensive speech being aired all the time on Fox News already.

Counselors and social workers: “The land of the free”? All other professionals who are licensed by individual states are also prohibited from discriminating against homosexuals. Social workers and counselors, even counselors in church staff positions, who refuse to provide “professional, appropriately nurturing marriage counseling” for homosexual couples lose their counseling licenses. Thousands of Christians have left these professions as a result.

Keyword, “licensed by individual states.”  Again, when the government is involved in the process you play by government rules.

Quite frankly he rambles on for quite some time without any mention of why the Supreme court threw out nearly the entirety of the first amendment.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

About the only thing he doesn’t mention is the right of assemble and petition the government.  Probably not because he doesn’t believe it will happen but rather that he just forgot it was in there.   On healthcare Pat just pulls together the worst of the worst, because one just assumes America would just steal the shitty parts of every program and throw it together rather than try to improve on the models already out there.  On Latin America Pat seems to forget that most of the devastation wrought on Latin America came not from the communists and liberals but rather the Capitalist factions backed and funded by the U.S.   He might also forget that Cuba and Venezuela enjoy the highest literacy rates in Latin America. Pat’s Israel and Russia comments are more wild, unfounded speculation.

On terrorism I think Pat points out something interesting.

However, he has challenged the nation to increase foreign aid to the poorer nations that were the breeding grounds for terrorism, so people could have an opportunity to escape from the cycles of poverty and violence in which generations had been trapped.

After 12 years of blowing the shit out of the middle east finally somebody came up with an actual solution to the problem.  People aren’t born terrorists. They become terrorists.  If you don’t have anything to live for it’s a lot easier to join the jihad against perceived oppressors.  Thank you future Obama for this intelligent solution.

CNN presents us with four college students.  Three of which are pro-Obama and one that is for McCain.  Now go through and read them and see if you might be able to spot the differences between the other three and the one voting for McCain.  Take your time. I’ll wait.

O.k. time’s up.  I don’t feel the need to really dwell on the Obama supporters.  They really do seem more indicative of your average college students and presented their reasons for why they’re voting Obama.  I do think we need to focus on the McCain supporter.

His mother is a financial adviser, his father’s a trust officer, so Tom Pinnell has familial insight into the economic crisis — and he’s not too concerned.

A St. Louis University political science major and third baseman for the Billikens’ baseball squad, Pinnell said students enjoy some buffer from the mayhem on Wall Street. It also helps that he’s considering law school — not the job market — when he graduates next year.

So his family isn’t exactly all that bad off.  We can deduce this from more than a few facts. First, his parents are working jobs that pay pretty decently. Secondly, he’s going to SLU, which is a private university.  Tuition is over $30,000 dollars a year. Sure the baseball is going to give him some scholarship money, but most likely he didn’t need it.

“Obviously, if my parents didn’t have jobs or if they’re seriously affected by the markets, I might have to take out student loans,” the 21-year-old said. “They planned on paying for most of [law school], but they need to retire, too.”

Now we can see how rather rich he is already.  No student loans? None? As you can see, unlike most college students this kid does not even have to face the reality that most of us face.  His parents even plan on paying for law school no less.  My parents can barely help me pay for college, much less grad school.  On top of that, because he was able to afford a private more prestigious university than a Missouri State school he will have a better chance of getting into a better and more prestigious law school, an opportunity that most students stuck in a state school will never even get.

His parents have been chiding him lately about “useless expenditures,” he said, and his father has always endorsed stocking up at Sam’s Club rather than eating out.

That’s wonderful.  Sam’s Club is a rather wonderful place to buy things in bulk.  You also have to pay for your membership.

Pinnell’s grocery runs used to cost about $60 a pop. Now, he shells out $80 for the same wares. Those 30-packs of Natural Light beer that used to cost $14? They’re $17 now, Pinnell said.

Even the watering hole that offered quarter pitchers last year is charging 50 cents, he said.

It’s nice to see that one of his biggest concerns is beer.  My being able to afford beer isn’t high on my list of things to worry about. Then again, he’s got graduate school and how to pay for it covered.

“I personally think it’s just a business cycle and it’ll work itself out,” he said of the nation’s turmoil. “I don’t think it’s going to have long-term negative effects on our way of life.”

It’s nice to see that’s what you personally think based on your stunning qualifications.  I’m sure that makes you more qualified than the ph.ds in economics.

The coming election will resonate for years, however, he said.

A John McCain supporter, Pinnell believes the Arizona senator’s patriotism and devotion to free markets and low taxes can help guide the country out of its rut.

In the words of John Stewart to Sarah Palin, “Fuck You.” To imply that Obama or his supporters are not patriotic is absolutely insulting.  You might also note that his devotion to free markets is what got us into this rut.  And his low taxes aren’t going to help pay for the massive war he wants to continue.

Barack Obama’s politics will mean higher taxes and more government spending, which will only hurt the country, Pinnell said. Plus, Obama has exercised poor judgment, particularly with his past associations, he said.

Or higher taxes and government spending will make us more like the socialist-capitalist hybrids that are doing much better than our current system and afford their citizens a better standard of living.  As for past associations, we can stop swallowing McCain’s cock now, please?  McCain and Palin have just as bad associations and at least all the bad associations Obama has aren’t working in his campaign.  On the other side of the coin some of the people running happen to be married to that bad association.  On top of that, I’m glad Obama at least associates with college professors instead of scorning intellectualism all together.

“Someone of his character leading the country? It’s not a roll of the dice I’m willing to take, really,” Pinnell said.

And why would you? You’re not hurting.  You’re only problem is beer went up a little bit.  You go to a private university and are even more removed from the problems and sufferings of the average American.  You could only come up with one semi-qualified reason to vote for McCain and it’s not even correct.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster is not going to be pleased at hearing the news that five pirate attacks were thwarted.  It is nice to see that the religion lives on strong in Somalia, but repeated failure is not a grand way to praise his noodlieness.  Yes, I agree that the spaghetti was a nice touch, as was the humanistic realization of the shit hole that Somalia has become.  Quite frankly, I would be quite proud of that band if they went and sunk the damn weapons to the bottom of the sea.  The world doesn’t need them.  If you’re not getting the money, which you most likely won’t, you owe it to the world to make sure those weapons are never used to kill again.  Make the Flying Spaghetti Monster proud.

So John McCain is now bitching about a story that ran last April about Obama and his connections with Rashid Khalidi, another one of his professor buddies.  After all, the Ayers attacks were so phenomenal that obviously another guy would swell the tide. Frankly, I’m more concerned about Obama’s connections with Jor-El.

This story proves one thing. John McCain, wrong on liberal media.  One of the most important things to a journalist is sources.  When a source tells you that you are not to release a video tape then you most likely won’t do so.  To do so would violate the trust of your source.  In only a very rare instance should that trust be broken.  A professor toasting another professor is not such an instance.  Furthermore, John McCain, unless there is such a tape of you and Neo-Nazis then The L.A. Times can’t and they won’t release it.  The other question is has the L.A. Times  published your connection to  Rashid Khalidi.  You know, the one where you gave him nearly half a mil?

And Fox provides us our very own example of why responsible journalism matters.

“I am not speaking to the press at this time, and do not speak to Fox in any case, as I just wrote one of your colleagues,” Khalidi wrote in an e-mail statement to FOXNews.com.

When people won’t even talk to your news organization at all you’re not ranking up there with journalistic integrity.  Then again, that would imply that Fox News actually does journalism.

David Tennat isn’t going to play the Doctor anymore.  He was my favorite one no less. First they make us wait till 2010. And now they tell us David won’t be back. And that already axed Tate.  I think they’re trying to punish us Americans for the supposed fact that Dr. Who fans vote conservative over here.  Tis a sad day.